Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

People who know I've read the Twilight series ask why I haven't reviewed it. Honestly? Is there a soul with a pulse that is unaware of my total lack of regard for Stephenie Meyer's writing abilities? Or shall I say lack thereof? However, in an effort to please my readers, here it is:

Twilight, the first book in Meyer's cliched, poorly written, mind numbing series actually got a 5-star rating from me. Surprised? So was I. But let me tell you why, then I'll tell you why I should have given this book a zero star rating.

I loved the book for what it was: an angsty piece of mind candy. I didn't read the book expecting great literature and because of this, I was able to enjoy the book. This book had enough melodrama to keep me hooked. And as long as I'm in the mood for angst, I can overlook a lot.

However, from a technical standpoint the writing was terrible. My son, at eight years old, wrote better prose than Meyer. Her writing is elementary at best. Her technique is far too simple. Her sentence structure is uninspired and boring. Grammatically she left much to be desired.

Meyer's character development was nonexistent for most characters and cliched for the characters that did manage to evolve despite her best efforts to keep them from doing so. Of course, that evolution -- if one dare call it that -- was minimal at best. The story, despite it's cliched plotting, did indeed offer points at which Meyer could have truly allowed her characters to become so much more. Such wasted opportunities!

Speaking of plotting: the plot devices were old and worn. I really saw nothing that was original or inspiring. In fact, the plot plodded along like an old plow horse diligently making its way from beginning to end with zero imagination.

But who reads this kind of book for those things? Not me. When I want great literature I turn to the classics. But for a beach book or a cold, rainy day at home in front of the fire, this was a great book. Go into it expecting to have your inner melodramatic drama queen fed and you'll close the book happy. This is mind candy folks, pure and simple. But with the right mindset, it is enjoyable mind candy. Too bad the other books in the series were terrible!